Recollections of Samwise Gamgee
by LadyArwen14
Summary: Sam is troubled by thoughts of the past. He is grieved at Frodo's departure and, every year, attempts to find clarity in his mind full of doubt and confusion...(This is just a short prologue, please read, review, and help me to find out where to go!
1. Prologue

This is just a little prologue to see if the story takes hold. This fic has been written on the request of one of my best friends, so please review and let me know how to make it better! (Any and all suggestions are welcome, I really don't know where this story's gonna go). This is for you Courtney (or should I say Sam!)!  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not the greatest mind in all fantasy, JRR Tolkien (or maybe not so sad, cause if I was than I would be dead.), so I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. Um. I think I just changed my mind, I do want to be Tolkien, dead or not, it would be worth it to have been such a genius!  
  
Recollections of Samwise Gamgee  
  
Sam stood alone atop the Three Farthing Stone, as he had so many years ago, and looked at the lands around him. He saw the countless trees that were scattered across the landscape, the results of the Lady Galadriel's gift. He found himself thinking back on the day of his heart's departure, the day Frodo left the shores of Middle Earth forever.  
  
Life was happy in the Shire, at long last. The youthful pranksters, Merry and Pippin, had since outgrown their youthful exuberance and come into their own. Sam's dreams had come to realization with the conformation of his marriage to Rosie Cotton. Frodo was experiencing the peace that he had so dearly earned, excluding his annual illnesses. Sam had further encountered an even greater and unexpected joy when his beloved Master Frodo invited him and his new bride to share his abode of Bag End. Sam's life had never been so full of joy and contentment.  
  
However, as Elrond had so morbidly predicted that their last meeting, Frodo soon yearned to, once again, experience the companionship of Bilbo. Sam had blissfully misinterpreted Elrond's fateful words. Taking them to mean that Frodo would embark on a visit to the land of Rivendell. To the dismay of his life long companions, Frodo committed to embark, with his dear cousin Bilbo, on the ships from the Gray Havens.  
  
Grief clouded Sam's mind as the recollections became, conversely, more clear. The realization of Frodo's intentions hit him like a sack of taters. Master Frodo was to depart along with his fellow ring bearers. The irony of the course of events still unhinged Sam from his carefully oiled and positioned hinges. How could it rightfully be the fate of those who fought the hardest to save Middle Earth to have to leave it?  
  
It was always at this time of year, "when the leaves are gold, before they fall," when Sam found himself setting forth into the early morning dew to seek clarity he knew not where to find. 


	2. Early Morning

Yay! Chapter 1! This first chapter kinda explains things but it also makes more questions. This story wants to be the kind that figures itself out as it goes along (I know, it told me so). But don't worry, I do have a general idea where the story it going to go (which is more than I had before)!  
  
Thank you sooooo much to my lovely reviewer, Rasberry Jam! Your kind words were greatly appreciated. Now, Courtney, you forced me to write you this story, so I think the least you could do is review it for me! I would never threaten to stop writing if I got no reviews, especially because I'm new at this sight, but they are a great encouragement!  
  
Disclaimer: If anyone out there thinks that I am JRR Tolkien, I am greatly flattered, but you are sadly mistaken. I am not Tolkien and I do not own any of his characters or plots. I'm going to go and cry now.  
  
Chapter 1: Early Morning  
  
Sam had awoken that morning with a pain in the back of his throat. It was well before the dawning of the day and Sam knew that sleep would, until the sun did grace the sky, elude him. He slipped out of bed, his mind afire with unanswered questions and unsettled injustices, and, kissing the sleeping Rosie on the cheek, dressed and was gone.  
  
The nightly mists still clung to the little hills and valleys of the Shire. It was autumn, golden leaves hung on the cold branches, only awaiting a good stiff breeze to dislocate them from their lofts. It was at this time, six years prior, that Frodo had departed from the Havens. And it was at this time of year, every subsequent year, that Sam would regress into the turmoil of that fated parting.  
  
He dressed in the weather stained clothing and the tattered cloak, which Sam had worn throughout his journey. As he trudged through the fog and dew, his memories became more realistic to him than the obscured world around him. Images of the journey, toilsome and pleasant alike, flashed through Sam's head. As the parade of memories wound their way towards their final destination, Sam's feet subconsciously retraced their prior steps, to the point that Sam had always considered to be the end of his journey; the Three Farthing Stone.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Sam shook himself out of his reverie. He was here, again.  
  
"Looks to be as if this year'll be much the same as the last." Sam murmured to himself. He sat himself down atop the stone and prepared for a long day of painful recollection and frustrating futility.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Rosie awoke to find an empty space beside her. She sighed, knowing where her husband was certain to be and preparing herself for his inevitable depression. The first return of autumn following Frodo's departure brought unbearable worry and grief to Rosie. Fore she knew not how to comfort her Sam in his misery, although she well knew what had brought on this melancholy.  
  
She rose, dressed, and began to prepare breakfast for their growing brood of children.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Pippin awoke with a smile on his face. It always brought back a feeling of contentment and purpose to awaken after a night of sleeping on the cold ground. Merry lay, still wrapped in slumber, besides him. Pippin roused himself, groaning at an assortment of aches and pains, and commenced the process of tending the fire.  
  
The embers of the previous night's fire sputtered and flickered back into life. As the infamous "eggs, sausages, and nice crispy bacon" began to cook, Pippin roused his yet sleeping companion. The splash of cold water was somewhat less than appreciated by Merry. After regaining his composure to a tolerable level, he addressed his comrade.  
  
"Pippin, it's not that I don't enjoy a nice cold shower in the morning to wake me up, it's just that I would rather be awake when I take it."  
  
"I thought that you might like to be informed that your breakfast has been prepared, Master Merry the Magnificent! And may I remind you that the purpose of this little excursion is not to wake at your leisure and enjoy the scenery. We have a job to do and if I must throw you into the Brandywine to get you up, than that is what I will do!"  
  
"Quite right," Merry replied with a yawn. "Well, then let us to it." With this the two hobbits helped themselves to their meal and packed up their camp. This trip was no great journey, as had been their previous travels. However, in the opinions of the pair, it was almost as important.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Author's Note: (Hehe, I love referring to myself as the "author.) Yes, the story is vague. The plot will revile itself all in good time (whether anyone reads it or not)! I encourage any and all readers to hang in there. Please, reviews are greatly appreciated. and they also help me to correct any gaffes or things that just bug people. Any questions, comments, or concerns will be responded to (I promise)! Advice is also a plus! 


	3. The Dawn

Author's Note: Yay for Courtney! The person for whom this story has been composed has finally reviewed. I'm beginning to think that if I update sometime that's not in the ungodly hours of the night, than more people might happen across my fic. Now lets test this theory! Thank you to everyone who read my story, and especially the two who reviewed!!!  
  
Disclaimer: As many of my friends find it important to remind me (a little too often for my taste), the beloved J.R.R. Tolkien has departed from this world. Therefore, alas, I am not he (although, I wish I was... which you would know if you read my previous disclaimers!!! Hehehe!). I do not own any of these characters or any of the excerpts from The Two Towers or The Return of the King (all of which are cited at the bottom of the fic!).  
  
Recollections of Samwise Gamgee  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Dawning  
  
The day dawned bright and clear, the rays of light, refracting against the fog, obscured the landscape. However, this obscurity was not the cold and dark distortion Sam had known during his nocturnal wanderings. This obscurity was one of dazzling light, giving even the dullest object a blinding quality.  
  
Sam was forced out of his morbid musings to squint and wonder at the shimmering spectrum encasing his homeland.  
  
"Just like the light that used to come form the Lady's phial, before Mr. Frodo took it across the Great Waters."  
  
Sam's momentary amphora soon sank back into gloom. Subconsciously, he marveled at his own concentration, so intense that not even the glistening fields and meadows below could distract him from his misery.  
  
The sun slowly burned away the shimmering spectacle and the day began, at long last. With the distraction gone, Sam's mind, once more, was completely immersed in his heavy thoughts.  
  
" 'Where are you going, Master?' cried Sam, though at last he understood what was happening.  
  
'To the havens, Sam,' said Frodo.  
  
'And I can't come.'  
  
'No, Sam. Not yet anyway, not further than the Havens. Though you too were a Ring-bearer, if only for a little while. Your time may come. Don't be too sad, Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.'  
  
'But,' said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, 'I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you've done.'  
  
'So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, loose them, so that others may keep them. But you are my heir: all that I had and might have had I leave to you. And also you have Rose, and Eleanor; and Frodo-lad will come, and Rosie-lass, and Merry, and Goldilocks, and Pippin; and perhaps more that I cannot see. Your hands and your wits will be needed everywhere. You will be the Mayor, of course, as long as you want to be, and the most famous gardener in history; and you will read things out of the Red Book, and keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more. And that will keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, as long as your part of the Story goes on.  
  
'Come now, ride with me!'" (1)  
  
Sam's head sank morosely into his hands as the memory replayed itself vaguely through his mind. Yet, another recollection burned antagonizingly clear, reverberating in the vaults of his head...  
  
" 'Good-bye, master, my dear!' he murmured. 'Forgive your Sam. He'll come back to this spot when the job's done-if he manages it. And then he'll not leave you again. Rest you quiet till I come; and my not foul creature come and anguish you!'" (2)  
  
" 'You fool, he isn't dead, and you knew it in your heart. Don't trust your head, Samwise, it's not the best part of you. The trouble with you is that you never really had any hope. Now what's to be done?'  
  
...  
  
'I got it all wrong!' he cried. 'I knew I would. Now they've got him, the devils! the filth! Never leave your master, never, never: that was my right rule. And I knew it in my heart. May I be forgiven!'" (3)  
  
"Never leave your Master. That was my right rule! Maybe I never should have..."  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Merry and Pippin rode through the mists at a steady pace. However, contrary to Samwise, they rode in a state of bewildered awe. The shining mists gave the overhanging trees the perpetuated quality of the glades found only in Lothlorien.  
  
"Merry, have you ever seen such a sight?" "Not in this lifetime," murmured Merry in response. "It seems fitting, though, that the world should turn all to white today... Remember how white the sky was that day at the Havens? The gulls Legolas spoke of almost disappeared into the pure white of the sky. But even the sky of that day doesn't compare to his..."  
  
Merry's voice was quite and dampened by the water, which hung in the air. Pippin sighed and squinted his eyes as he peered into the flaring fog. He could barely make out the path before him. As the two hobbits made their way out of the Woody End the fog began to clear. The mists that had remained, clinging between and among the trees, was left behind. He could now decipher the familiar land around him. The alien sense of a celestial environment departed and Pippin, once again, set his mind on his goal.  
  
"At what time, would you say, will we reach the stone, Merry?"  
  
"Oh, I'd say some time a bit before tea time, by noon if we set a good pace, and keep it up."  
  
"You don't suppose that Sam will have already wondered off by the time we get there, do you? We certainly don't need to go traipsing across the Shire into the dead of night searching for him. We tried that once, and don't you forget where that sent us."  
  
"It sent us on the road to Isengard and to the places where we truly mattered, Pippin." Merry smiled at the memory, "And don't worry, I know our Sam... The way that he broods, he'll be sitting on the rock until well after nightfall. Here, lets quicken our pace, if it will ease your mind. Hopefully we can get through to him before he sinks into darkness once again."  
  
With that, the two companions wheeled their ponies and set forth on their quest.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
"Mama, when's Daddy coming home?" chimed little Rosie-lass, then a robust childe of three years.  
  
"Your father will be home soon enough, dear one. As soon as he finishes today's work," Rosie answered her then youngest daughter.  
  
"But what's Dad doing? Surely there can be no work this early in the morning!" Thus spoke the eldest boy, little Frodo-lad, then a strapping young man of five years. Rosie groaned inwardly at their inquisition, wanting nothing more than to momentarily forget of her Sam's actions. However, the curiosities of children are not so easily met.  
  
"Daddy is of on a task of his own. He will be very tired when he returns home this evening, so we shall all try to make him feel better. Now eat your porridge and no more questions." Rosie hustled off to feed the baby, Merry. Rosie had, throughout the years, developed a set pattern to her actions. By concentrating on following this routine, she attempted to maintain a level of normalcy during such days. However, despite her self-chastisement, she could not prevent herself from gazing longingly out a window, searching for Sam's return. Nor could she quiet her children's inquiries as to the whereabouts of their father.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
It was so that the day wore on, nearing its height, and answers were known to none.  
  
Chapter 3 Coming Soon!  
  
Citations: The Lord of the Rings, Book VI, The Grey Havens The Lord of the Rings, Book IV, The Choices of Master Samwise The Lord of the Rings, Book IV, The Choices of Master Samwise  
  
Author's Note II: Thank you to anyone who took the time to read my story! I greatly appreciate it! But if you want me to appreciate you even more then just click on the little button at the bottom left corner of this page that reads "submit review" and let me know what you think! Any and all reviews are accepted and appreciated. I promise to respond to each and ever one of you who decide to review! If anyone has any other questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to send me an e-mail at Ladyevenstar14@aol.com! 


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